It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
