this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
