i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i don't like sucking hair
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
