i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
What a dumb baby whore.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
