we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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