I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
