She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
