There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
