Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
