Who did Billy Mays play for?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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