I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
