apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
