so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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