If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
