dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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