the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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