before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
