That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
