Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
