I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
