All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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