i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
