please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
