It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
