I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
