I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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