im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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