do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
