I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
