she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
