grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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