Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
