Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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