Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Bring me that man meat
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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