He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
