Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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