PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
