cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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