Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
