Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
