At least make sure they are 18
Why
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
