i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
