i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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