Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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