I'm gonna have a badass scar
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
