it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
