But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
