My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
