Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
