I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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