we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
